The Chicken War Escalates?
Allied in their goals, Pamela Anderson and Pakistani rioters have moved into operational phases of their war against Kentucky Fried Chicken. The fried chicken company now finds itself, like Germany in world wars I and II, fighting a two-front war against a clearly capable and cunning foe. On February 13, the Pamela/Pakistani Axis’ Asian units attacked and burned KFC restaurants in separate incidences in Peshawar and Lahore, Pakistan. Police units responded to the attacks with teargas, but the chicken restaurants were nonetheless badly damaged. Here in the United States, Ms. Anderson has aimed higher so to speak in demanding that the bust of KFC founder Harland Sanders be removed from the Kentucky state capitol. 
Seeming to confirm what the Pakistani units of the anti-KFC Axis believe: that KFC is one and the same with elements of Government in the United States, a spokesperson for the Governor of Kentucky replied to the Anderson attack in saying “[We have] no intention of moving [Sander’s] statue. If we were going to move it, it would be to a more prominent position where more people could see it.” These statements were made just weeks before the Pakistani attacks and it is unknown to what extent the Kentucky Governor’s dogged defiance of Ms. Anderson’s demands sparked the Central Asian offensive.
The Pamela/Pakistani Axis’ dual attack strategy is classic: while the former Baywatch star uses her allure and clout with CNN’s Larry King to attempt to discredit and symbolically decapitate KFC in what amounts to a political attack, Anderson’s counterparts in Asia have struck a blow to the chicken restaurant’s actual operations. The United States employed a similar strategy to confront the installation of nuclear weapons in Cuba during the Cuban Missile Crisis. As U.S. military units were blockading Cuba at sea and sending combat and reconnaissance aircraft over the missile installations, U.S.
Ambassador to the United Nations, Adlai Stevenson, vigorously demanded with now famous rhetoric that the Soviet Union admit that it has weapons in Cuba and vow to remove them immediately.
The capability and classically brilliant strategy employed by the Pamela/Pakistani Axis begs the question of whether there is a mastermind behind the scenes coordinating this powerful attack. Is it Osama Bin Laden? Has he somehow been able to influence the beloved Pamela Anderson? Did he find a finger in his 30 piece family box? While intelligence on this issue remains absent, the answer may lie elsewhere, and in a place that gives a third “P” to the Pamela/Pakistani Axis: Popeyes Chicken and Biscuits.
Popeyes began to assert itself as a player in the global chicken market in the mid-1980s. In 1987, a nationwide taste-test crowned Popeyes as “America’s Fried Chicken Champ.” In 2001, Popeyes earned a Gold Award from “Nation’s Restaurant News” an industry publication. Most people who know the difference believe that Popeyes has better chicken. Yet, in 2003, KFC continued to hold 46 percent of the fast food fried chicken market, compared to Popeyes’ 11 percent. A recent survey of chicken eaters showed that 79 percent of respondents had eaten at KFC in the past six months, only 46 percent had eaten at Popeyes. Certainly, Popeyes must have felt frustration with the continued dominance of KFC’s less inferior product. But, as an American Corporation traded publicly on the NASDAQ stock exchange (AFCE), it is unlikely that frustration with mere business cycles would lead Popeyes to organize and carry out a militarized effort to bring KFC to its knees.
Then came Hurricane Katrina. While elements in Government, such as the Governor of Kentucky come to the prompt and vehement defense of KFC, Popeyes restaurants were left to rot in the toxic soup that New Orleans became after August 29, 2005. The storm knocked out a Popeyes production facility at which red beans, dirty rice, macaroni and cheese and its poultry batter are created. Katrina caused the destruction or temporary closure of more than 100 Popeyes restaurants. As Popeyes was certainly asking “Where is the Government? The same Government that rushes to the aid of KFC??” it is now known that agencies at all levels sat idly by, or at best mustered a passive, “woefully inadequate” response to Katrina while the Popeyes restaurants of the Gulf South sat in four to eleven feet of water. This, to Popeyes, may have been the final straw.
In the face of sheer neglect by a Government that so staunchly supports it bitter rival, Popeyes may have executed a plan straight out of business/marketing 101. In the Pakistani militants, Popeyes may have found the one ally brave enough to challenge the Government-supported KFC at an operational combat level. While China and KFC do not have a friendly past (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4356965.stm) the Communist nation was not likely to enter a global poultry war with the United States. No, only Islamic militants offered the results Popeyes needs to win this war. And while we may never be able to ascertain Pamela Anderson’s true motives, simple marketing strategy suggests that a well-known, public personality will only help in your efforts.
Does this all seem too far-fetched to swallow like so many popcorn shrimp? Are these mere coincidences? Perhaps, but Popeyes has restaurants in Saudi Arabia, Indonesia and Jordan, all Islamic nations. And yet, not a single Popeyes restaurant has been harmed in the uproar that has swept the Islamic world in the past few weeks. While Pamela Anderson continues to speak out against KFC and even cruelty to chickens, she has noticeably never mentioned Popeyes.
As Americans, we must ask ourselves: Whose side are we on in this war? Is it right that our Government will so doggedly defend one chicken chain, while leaving another to drown in the wake of natural disaster? These questions may a bit too heavy for some, and there may be a simpler solution. Have you ever had a spicy Popeyes drumstick at 10a.m. with a hangover? Have you ever had Popeyes onion rings during an NFL game? I say let KFC burn.
Sources:
http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/asiapcf/02/15/pakistan.cartoons/index.html
http://money.cnn.com/2006/01/13/news/newsmakers/anderson_sanders/index.htm
http://www.yum.com/investors/annualreport/01annualreport/pdf/TGR_p16_24.pdf
http://www.popeyes.com/popeyesstory3.asp
http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/food/2005-12-08-katrina-popeyes_x.htm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4356965.stm
Seeming to confirm what the Pakistani units of the anti-KFC Axis believe: that KFC is one and the same with elements of Government in the United States, a spokesperson for the Governor of Kentucky replied to the Anderson attack in saying “[We have] no intention of moving [Sander’s] statue. If we were going to move it, it would be to a more prominent position where more people could see it.” These statements were made just weeks before the Pakistani attacks and it is unknown to what extent the Kentucky Governor’s dogged defiance of Ms. Anderson’s demands sparked the Central Asian offensive.
The Pamela/Pakistani Axis’ dual attack strategy is classic: while the former Baywatch star uses her allure and clout with CNN’s Larry King to attempt to discredit and symbolically decapitate KFC in what amounts to a political attack, Anderson’s counterparts in Asia have struck a blow to the chicken restaurant’s actual operations. The United States employed a similar strategy to confront the installation of nuclear weapons in Cuba during the Cuban Missile Crisis. As U.S. military units were blockading Cuba at sea and sending combat and reconnaissance aircraft over the missile installations, U.S.
Ambassador to the United Nations, Adlai Stevenson, vigorously demanded with now famous rhetoric that the Soviet Union admit that it has weapons in Cuba and vow to remove them immediately.
The capability and classically brilliant strategy employed by the Pamela/Pakistani Axis begs the question of whether there is a mastermind behind the scenes coordinating this powerful attack. Is it Osama Bin Laden? Has he somehow been able to influence the beloved Pamela Anderson? Did he find a finger in his 30 piece family box? While intelligence on this issue remains absent, the answer may lie elsewhere, and in a place that gives a third “P” to the Pamela/Pakistani Axis: Popeyes Chicken and Biscuits.
Popeyes began to assert itself as a player in the global chicken market in the mid-1980s. In 1987, a nationwide taste-test crowned Popeyes as “America’s Fried Chicken Champ.” In 2001, Popeyes earned a Gold Award from “Nation’s Restaurant News” an industry publication. Most people who know the difference believe that Popeyes has better chicken. Yet, in 2003, KFC continued to hold 46 percent of the fast food fried chicken market, compared to Popeyes’ 11 percent. A recent survey of chicken eaters showed that 79 percent of respondents had eaten at KFC in the past six months, only 46 percent had eaten at Popeyes. Certainly, Popeyes must have felt frustration with the continued dominance of KFC’s less inferior product. But, as an American Corporation traded publicly on the NASDAQ stock exchange (AFCE), it is unlikely that frustration with mere business cycles would lead Popeyes to organize and carry out a militarized effort to bring KFC to its knees.
Then came Hurricane Katrina. While elements in Government, such as the Governor of Kentucky come to the prompt and vehement defense of KFC, Popeyes restaurants were left to rot in the toxic soup that New Orleans became after August 29, 2005. The storm knocked out a Popeyes production facility at which red beans, dirty rice, macaroni and cheese and its poultry batter are created. Katrina caused the destruction or temporary closure of more than 100 Popeyes restaurants. As Popeyes was certainly asking “Where is the Government? The same Government that rushes to the aid of KFC??” it is now known that agencies at all levels sat idly by, or at best mustered a passive, “woefully inadequate” response to Katrina while the Popeyes restaurants of the Gulf South sat in four to eleven feet of water. This, to Popeyes, may have been the final straw.
In the face of sheer neglect by a Government that so staunchly supports it bitter rival, Popeyes may have executed a plan straight out of business/marketing 101. In the Pakistani militants, Popeyes may have found the one ally brave enough to challenge the Government-supported KFC at an operational combat level. While China and KFC do not have a friendly past (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4356965.stm) the Communist nation was not likely to enter a global poultry war with the United States. No, only Islamic militants offered the results Popeyes needs to win this war. And while we may never be able to ascertain Pamela Anderson’s true motives, simple marketing strategy suggests that a well-known, public personality will only help in your efforts.
Does this all seem too far-fetched to swallow like so many popcorn shrimp? Are these mere coincidences? Perhaps, but Popeyes has restaurants in Saudi Arabia, Indonesia and Jordan, all Islamic nations. And yet, not a single Popeyes restaurant has been harmed in the uproar that has swept the Islamic world in the past few weeks. While Pamela Anderson continues to speak out against KFC and even cruelty to chickens, she has noticeably never mentioned Popeyes.
As Americans, we must ask ourselves: Whose side are we on in this war? Is it right that our Government will so doggedly defend one chicken chain, while leaving another to drown in the wake of natural disaster? These questions may a bit too heavy for some, and there may be a simpler solution. Have you ever had a spicy Popeyes drumstick at 10a.m. with a hangover? Have you ever had Popeyes onion rings during an NFL game? I say let KFC burn.
Sources:
http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/asiapcf/02/15/pakistan.cartoons/index.html
http://money.cnn.com/2006/01/13/news/newsmakers/anderson_sanders/index.htm
http://www.yum.com/investors/annualreport/01annualreport/pdf/TGR_p16_24.pdf
http://www.popeyes.com/popeyesstory3.asp
http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/food/2005-12-08-katrina-popeyes_x.htm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4356965.stm
posted by Chuck @ 1:30 PM
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