The Porsche 911 (No, Boxsters don't count silly)

There really is no substitute. No, the old adage about men having sportscars in order to compensate for a small package isn’t true, at least not in this case. But in a more general view, perhaps it is about compensating for something, and perhaps in a more positive view, anything at a given moment This is an amazing thing and something that perhaps non-Porsche owners can’t really fully comprehend (kidding, but you’ll get my point in a bit).

Feeling a sense of loss? Roll down your windows and drive your Porsche. So you fell in love when you shouldn’t have? Roll down your windows and drive your Porsche. Did the stock market crash on you? Roll down your windows and drive your Porsche. Did your city get destroyed by a hurricane? Roll down your windows and drive your Porsche.

The reality is that any or all of those things may have happened to you, and Porsche or no Porsche, you’re gonna have to deal with it, whether it be money, or love, or the imminent collapse of your favorite sports team. But with the Porsche 911 that sense of kick-in-the-gut can be placated, if not forgotten about, at least for a moment, by a brisk drive in a world-class automobile. Reliable and unconditional (shy of a little maintenance), the love this vehicle gives is just enough to soften any particularly intense blow.

So I freely admit it: The Porsche 911 is a sign that its owner is compensating for something. But hey, don’t we all have something for which to compensate?? I call it “compensating like a mother fucker.”



P.S.- This isn’t about money or elitism. The 911 doesn’t have to be new, it just has to work. Hell, it doesn’t even have to be about cars...just find your own 911 and compensate man, compensate.

More, "No he didn't just say that..." From the World of Sports

Okay, I think I'm going to give you these when I hear them. Maybe I'll start a log..
But anyway, I'm watching the NBA on ESPN, Houston Rockets at Golden State Warriors. So Derek Fisher sinks a second three-pointer bringing the Warriors three point total to 14, their season high... and the announcer drops this little gem:

"We have seen more 3's tonight than a Dale Earnhardt memorabilia show."

hahahaha. I laughed out loud from the kitchen. The best part is that you could hear it that he said the first part (we have seen more 3's THAN...) and he needed a finish, but he had started the cliche without a finish in mind and he was suddenly getting close to having to bail on it, buy hey, what is something that has a lot of 3's?? Oh right, a Dale Earnhardt memorabilia show. Swish!

A little more about me...

In case you're confused, that last post wasn't about groceries, by the way. And again, the putative reader to which I speak may be purely hypothetical. But I think maybe somebody out there is reading this. That thought at least makes me happy.

So it says I live in D.C. That is a new development for me. You see, I had a house, a company, a family and a life in a great city in this country. The city was old and had been through a lot. America loved that city. It held its conferences there. It held its Super Bowls there. It looked to that city for escape and fun, culture and cuisine. And most importantly it looked to that city for utility. That city served this country in the most loyal way, through centuries, providing a nonstop, 24-7 stream of commerce. Every coffee bean in the U.S. went through that city. Every banana in this country went through that city. The Mississippi River, the most economically important inland waterway in the entire hemisphere, met the world's ocean system there. A huge percentage of the nation's domestic and foreign oil had something to do with that city and its immediate region.

But as usual, humankind managed to do what mother nature could not. For hundreds of years that city sat in the same place. It endured storms and plagues, disease and fire. But in the last thirty years, the nation needed more from that city than it was willing to give back. Canals and efficient waterways were constructed around the city to ease the flow of goods and oil. The human intervention in the geography of the area around that city, over the course of the last 30 years, led to a alteration of the area's natural defenses to storms, plagues, disease and fire. What used to be a buffer of 120 miles was depleated to 40 miles in some places.

It isn't hard to understand. Go to the beach. Build a sand castle 5 yards from the water. Watch the tide. Does the water affect your sandcastle? No, because you have 5 yards of buffer. Now dig a deep trench from the water to your sandcastle. Maintain that trench's depth. What happens now?

People say, "Why did they build a city where it could be flooded?" or "Why did you live below sea level?" We didnt' choose where the most important inland waterway in this hemisphere met the ocean. There is simply no way around that and anyone who says that the city shouldn't have been there is simply ignorant of the concept of an economy. Such individuals need to be left to their own idiocy.

But what we did choose is to let our own safety be compromised in the name of the economic development of this nation. And in the name of almighty oil. Sure, it was profitable, and sure, many of that city's very own turned a blind eye to the rising threat, in the name of the dollar. This nation built those trenches from the ocean to the castle, and it maintained them. The trenches caused the buffer zone around them to be washed away. The trenches streamlined movement from the ocean to that city in a way that benefitted ships, oil, and sadly, a hurricane.

But it happened and we are ALL to blame. Yes I said ALL. Anyone in Maine who has ever eaten a banana is to blame. Anyone in Chicago who enjoys coffee is to blame. Anyone in Denver who has bought a gallon of gas is to blame. Yes, some people were supposed to be on watch, but we are all to blame. And what's done is done. We can and we SHOULD rebuild it. The whole of this nation owes a debt of gratitude to that city for giving itself, literally, to the needs, both economic and aesthetic, of this country. I hope we at least chose to pay that city back for all it has given to us.

But now I live here in DC. Things happen. Lives change. This is where I am now and we'll see how it goes. At least I am alive.

Paper or Plastic?

I like to cook. As a transplant to a new city, I tend to cook a lot for myself, dinners for one. I don’t know all that many people here with whom to be having dinner, and frankly the cost of eating or ordering out every night is a bit ridiculous when you know how to cook for yourself. So I cook a lot here in my new kitchen.

When I first got here, I needed to find my grocery store. You know, that one that makes you feel at home, that one where you know where everything is. I spoke with friends and asked around to find my nearest stores, and check them out. The first store I went to was nearby, and I was impressed with it in some ways. The produce was in good shape, which is key, but I just didn’t get the feel like this store had everything I needed. It lacked flare, the prepared foods were overcooked, it lacked music, and it lacked shrimp. I really like shrimp and need my store to have them.

While my initial efforts at storefinding weren’t disasters, I found myself continuing to shop at Lanigain’s. I knew Lanigain’s when I first arrived to stay in Alexandria, VA with my childhood friend while I looked for a place in DC. I knew the place because I had already become familiar with it, and liked it, in October when I visited my friend from New Orleans who had temporarily relocated here after the hurricane. So, when I moved in here, I liked it so much that I kept shopping at Lanigain’s.

Lanigain’s is an attractive store, with fresh produce, quality management and an overall ease of shopping for which I have the utmost regard. Lanigain’s has great wine, great seafood and great steaks. But there is something beyond these criteria: Lanigain’s is beautiful on the inside, in the essence of the store. At Lanigain’s you will find a wide range of intelligent, if not rare products, all while the store remains wonderfully unpretentious. The deli clerks smile and encourage your temptation to spoil yourself. The checkout girls are youthful and vibrant, brightening your day while cool music plays. And the shrimp: Lanigain’s has shrimp, Lanigain’s likes to have shrimp and Lanigain’s even wants to know how I cook my shrimp.

So what is the problem with this store you ask? The sharp reality is that it isn’t good for me to shop at Lanigain’s. Well, for one, the store isn’t accessible for me. Sure, as the crow flies, it isnt’ very far; but on any given day in my life there is a lot of clutter that stands between me and Lanigain’s. I usually attempt to traverse the clutter, but over time I know it will wear me out. I invest (I see my groceries as an investment, not a cost) too much at Lanigain’s, and the traffic is frequently difficult in the area. The really special items are usually reserved before they are available. I love that store but it just simply fails to make sense for me to shop there in the grand scheme of it all. It is best, instead, for me only to shop at Lanigain’s on a more casual, if not “friendly” basis, when I’m in the area and the store is open. I’d rather shop there more often, but I recognize reality. I never was fully in the neighborhood at Lanigain’s; I was more a stranger who chose to stop and shop for a while.

The good thing for me is that Lanigain’s is closing. They aren’t sure if they are going to reopen but for now the ownership is concentrating their efforts on business further south. I am certainly not glad that the store is closing- I will miss it tremendously. And I hope they find a way to re-open. But the reality of it is that, even though I knew it wasn’t the best choice, I continued to shop at Lanigain’s because I simply love that store. As unlikely as it seems, maybe there is store like Lanigain’s nearby. Or maybe I’ll a find another store, endearing for a whole different set of reasons. Or maybe there won’t be another Lanagain’s. As I’m sure I’ll keep cooking, I'll have to keep shopping. Of course, it will be at Lanigain’s until it closes because I just can’t help myself.

"Are you Tony Hawk?" I Wish!

I’m not a skater. Sure, I had a skateboard once when I was about 12, but I didn’t take to it; it was more a mode of transportation than anything else and as modes of transport go, skateboards fall pretty low on the list, just above walking. So my skating days were few. No, my knowledge and respect for Tony Hawk doesn’t come from a passion for skateboarding, it comes from the undeniable fact, learned over the past 20 years, that Tony Hawk is a pretty amazing person. As he has now achieved pop-icon status, just about every American under 40 knows who Tony Hawk is, but not all that many can tell you why.

Tony Hawk grew up in San Diego, California in the 70s and 80s. He was a goofy, lanky kid who was obsessed with competition and performing at his best. Once, after striking out in a baseball game, Tony exiled himself to a nearby ravine and remained there until his father removed him forcibly. Tony Hawk’s life changed when his brother gave him a skateboard at age 12.

With the support of his parents and his natural desire for victory, Tony began entering and winning skateboard competitions…just as the skate craze took over Southern California and then the nation in the 80s. By age 14, Tony was a professional skateboarder with sponsors and earnings. When Tony Hawk was 16, he was widely considered the best skateboarder in the world.

By his senior year in high school, Tony owned his own house and made enough money to fly his friends with him to competitions. By 21, Tony had bought his second house, a 4-acre mansion complete with a skate park and a fleet of Lexi (or Lexuses if you prefer). However, one day in 1991 Tony suffered an aneurysm- just as the popularity of skating was freefalling. Tony’s health, combined with the market downswing for skateboarding ruined Tony Hawk’s livelihood. Over the next several years, Tony Hawk went from prodigal success to a man with a five dollar a day Taco Bell budget. He lost his house, his wife, his cars and his career.

But Tony Hawk didn’t feel sorry for himself. Tony Hawk didn’t develop a debilitating drug habit or leech on his family and friends. Instead, Tony formed a skateboard company with a friend and kept doing what he loved, even without the fortune and glory. After several years, skateboarding in America took another upswing and Tony was back in business. His skateboard company soon became one of the top in the world. Tony also launched a children’s skate clothing company which was bought by the Quicksilver corporation… all while Hawk continued to skate. Over the course of 17 years, Tony Hawk entered an estimated 103 skate contests, winning 73 of them and placing second in 19. These numbers are really ridiculous if you think about it. When the X-Games brought skateboarding competitions to television, the rest of America could now watch Tony Hawk continue to dominate a sport filled with young, fearless Hawk-clones who still could not beat their idol.

Tony has appeared in twelve motion pictures and his is now a household name. But Tony Hawk’s biggest success, and the one that he is probably most proud of, is the Tony Hawk ProSkater video game series. Always a technophile, Tony eagerly accepted Activision’s proposal to create a skateboarding video game in 1997. Unlike other video game namesakes, Tony involved himself heavily in the creation and marketing of the video game, with an emphasis on actual game play instead of hype and gimmicks. Tony didn’t just lend his name to a video game, he, like always, did everything he could to ensure that his name and likeness were associated with a top-quality product. The Tony Hawk video game series is one of the highest selling video games of all time, and has brought Tony and his family (remarried in 1996 with three children) financial success beyond what he may have imagined in 1997.

I think the coolest thing about Tony Hawk is simply that… he is cool. As he is a reasonably well-known celebrity over the last 15 or so years, I have never heard anything but good about Tony Hawk. In interviews he is a chill, mature but fun-loving, all-American guy. He appears on television frequently and always has a smile; I have never heard anyone say they didn’t like Tony Hawk. He donates his time generously to charity and the Tony Hawk Foundation is very active in bringing skating and other outdoor recreation to inner-cities and other low income areas.

I was on a cruise about two years ago and there was a group of kids, probably 13 or 14 years old that I observed were looking at me beyond a mere glance. It was noticeable; not just a coincidence and it continued. I mentioned to Erin, my girlfriend at the time and companion on the cruise, that these kids were looking at me. We laughed it off- but it happened again and again over the next day or so. Finally, the next night at the late night buffet, one of them approached me. I was eager to find out the nature of their curiosity, so I smiled and said “hey man, how’s it going?” He said “…um…are you Tony Hawk??” I laughed and said “I wish.”

Well, so convinced that I was Tony Hawk the kid didn’t believe me. I guess he thought if I was Hawk, I wouldn’t admit it… trying to be incognito on this bargain Carnival Line cruise. Riiiggghhttt. But the kid eventually accepted it and walked away. The last day of the cruise, he came back and asked if he could take a picture with me. Of course, I had no problem with it and his friend actually took several snapshots; But hey, who wouldn’t want to be Tony Hawk for a day or two?